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Friday, November 25, 2011

Stop Acting Like I Ran Your Dog Over.

Yeah, I said it.  Knock it the hell off people!! 

Working in a center that takes complaints is completely thankless job.  By the end of the day, I have jello for a brain and an underlying urge to kick puppies for being so damn cute.  It's hard.  I am screamed at all day, sometimes threatened, called names, and after I bend over backwards to make the customer happy, I am then lectured on how they should have never had an experience like they did. 

I would like to go through some bullet points with you on why you should be nicer to you customer service reps and how to get an optimal customer service experience (By my standards at least) .

  • We're talking about TV, phone and Internet here.  You will not die if it does not work.  and before you say "Well, Kelly...."  --I'm going to stop you.  NO.  You WILL NOT die.  TV and Internet are LUXURIES.  Yes, they are expensive and people pay good money to have our service in their home.  I get it.  TRUST ME!  I GET IT!  I understand you may work from home and without Internet, it could jeopardize your job.  I understand your teenager has a 10 page report due tomorrow morning and they haven't started it.  I know it SUCKS that you are going to miss the Phillies game, American Idol or any other mind melting TV shows our society is addicted to.  I GET IT!  But I am not a miracle worker.  when you call me expecting to be put back in service immediately, know that you will be disappointed, but that I will do everything in my power to help you ASAP.
  • Cursing at us will get you NO WHERE.  If you utter one shit, fuck, bitch, damn, ass or any of the likes - You will be disconnected and your call will not be answered again.  Call centers DO have caller ID and us reps do speak to each other.  I do not care how frustrated you are. 
  • Don't be sarcastic with us.  We don't know how to take it.  Remember, we are screamed at, called names and told how much we suck.  We have never spoke to you before and do not understand your personal humor.  We don't respond to your humor because god forbid the one time a customer sounds sarcastic and they really aren't trying to be... Welp, I can just say I know a manager will end up hearing about it and I just don't need that.  Save the humor for another time and just let me help you. 
  • Don't talk about your personal problems with me.  If your service has been disconnected or interrupted for another reason, I know it's an inconvenience.  I don't have to hear about how you brother in laws cousin's neighbor is coming over to watch Monday Night Football on your 70" Plasma and now the wings you purchases freshly cooked from the store will go bad because you have to take your party to the bar.  I do not care that your wife just gave birth to your 5th child and will go stir crazy because she can't watch Lifetime.  I treat every customer with the same amount of urgency.  Save the speech, your wasting time I could be spending getting you back in service.
  • Again, touching on personal problems.  I am you customer service rep, not a free therapist.  I don't care about your issues, I have enough of my own.
  • If another employee does something to make you mad, don't yell at me.  I don't care if you want to express your concern, but remember that I am not the one who disrespected you.  I will be more than happy to take your complaint and make sure it gets handled accordingly, but screaming at me will more than likely make me throw your complaint away (yeah I said it!)
  • Do not threaten me.  Don't do it.  Just don't.  It takes a pretty stupid person to tell me that they are going to get me fired, find out where I work so they can hurt me or any of the likes.  Remember, I have a screen in front of me that shows me your name, address, multiple phone numbers, and social security number.  Just don't do it. 
  • Don't make an ass of yourself.  Again, us reps do laugh at you.... if you are on the phone making spectacle of yourself... more than likely we will laugh about it, hard, after your call has ended.
  • Most importantly, remember we are humans too and we do make mistakes.  some mistakes are bigger than others and sometimes it can really it hard for a customer.... but we are not little robots that have little manuals that tell us what to do with every problem we encounter.  I can promise that any mistake made will be rectified ASAP, but I also don't need to be crucified.  I know you're not perfect at your job.  Stop acting like I should be perfect with mine. 
Anyone know the moral of this post??  Just be nice! Please express your concerns to me, I do want to hear them!! But just be nice to me.  You'll be much more likely to have a pleasant experience if you just act nice, no matter how frustrated you are.  

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